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Twisted Humor
Twisted humor on a brainpower site? I was
doing the pages on brain teasers one day, and it occurred to
me that most riddles are nothing more than lateral thinking puzzles.
Humor, even twisted humor, can be great exercise for the brain,
especially for it's creative capacity. So with that excuse in
mind, enjoy!
"One night I walked home very
late and fell asleep in somebody’s satellite dish. My dreams
were showing up on TV’s all over the world." - Steven Wright
Twisted Humor : The One-Liners
- Build a man a fire and he's warm for
a night. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his
life.
- Don't worry, it only seems kinky the
first time.
- It is my great hope that someday we'll
put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.
Cannibal Jokes
1. Two cannibals were talking over dinner
and one admitted to the other, " You know, I just don't
like my mother-in-law." His friend sympathized, and told
him, "So just eat your vegetables."
2. What did they give the cannibal when
he was late for diner? They gave him the cold shoulder..
3. What did the cannibal have on his pizza?
Everyone.
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More Twisted Humor
A guy picked up a woman at a bar one night
and took her home. On the way, she asked him if he had aids.
He told her he didn't. At his house she asked again if he had
aids, and he assured her that he didn't. In bed, after they had
begun to remove their clothes, she stopped and turned to him.
"You're sure you don't have aids?"
she asked.
"Yes, I'm sure," he told her,
getting a bit annoyed. She finally stopped talking, and they
had sex for hours, doing everything imaginable. Afterwards they
were laying there in bed and she snuggled up to him.
"Look," she said, " It's
too late now, so you might as well tell me if you have aids."
"I told you I don't have aids,"
he almost yelled.
"Oh, thank god," she sighed,
"I wouldn't want to get that again."
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One More Example Of Twisted Humor
I woke up one morning and everything
in my apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact duplicate.
My roommate was on the couch, so I asked him, "Hey, did
you notice that everything in the apartment has been stolen and
replaced with an exact duplicate?" He just looked at me
and said, "Do I know you?"
- Steven Wright
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Related Pages:
Really
Funny Jokes
Hard Riddles
Funny Riddles
Riddles and Puzzles Index
| Twisted Humor |